I’m Sorry You Met Dad… if you hadn’t met him, he wouldn’t have put you through so much pain.
Those words came out of JRoc’s mouth last night.
Now, mind you… I don’t speak ill of his father to him. Never have. Not even when he first walked out on us without warning. When J (who was only 5 at that time) asked why “Daddy doesn’t want to live with us anymore”, my answer was, “Daddy doesn’t feel he and I could be friends anymore… but YOU still have BOTH a mommy AND a daddy… and we both love YOU very very much!”
I also made sure he understood that his dad’s decision was his very own and NO ONE (I totally meant to direct that at my baby boy) is to own or take responsibility for his dad’s choices. So at the age of 5, my baby learned that each one of us must take responsibility for our own thoughts, choices, and actions.
Altho… I will say I’ve quit “defending” my ex after a few years… “Why doesn’t dad make an effort to come visit me?” “Why hasn’t he come to watch any of my sports games and martial arts testings?” “Why hasn’t he ever come to see me receive my awards at school?” You know… those are questions his dad should answer on his own.
But I digress…
When my little boy uttered those words, I immediate hugged him and told him I’ve never ever regretted my time with his dad. “How can you say that?” he asked… and I explained to him…
No matter what your dad thinks, feels, or believes now, I believe there was a time he & I truly loved each other very, very much. And from that love, God blessed us with the most WONDERFUL BLESSING… and his name is Joshua.
You were born into so much love… and regardless of what was waiting for us in the future, God knew that only YOUR DAD and I together could make YOU. If I had met and married anyone else… even if our marriage lasted… this world would be missing YOU.
God has BI—-G plans for YOU and He made sure everything was (and is) setup exactly the way they should be to prepare you for your AMAZING life purpose!
I have the privilege of being your mommy! God chose ME because He knows I will love you with all my heart and soul… and that I have the strength to follow through with His plans… even if I have no idea what those plans are 🙂 And I was soooo lucky to have met and married your dad… because your dad is the ONLY PERSON who could’ve helped brought YOU… EXACTLY YOU into this life with me.
From the hugs & kisses I received after that… and the hopeful look in his eyes… I believe he understood.
I asked him to please TRUST that all will work out, because God is on our side, and these “challenges” are just part of our journey. Sure, they may be tough and painful… and it’s TOTALLY OK to be angry, sad, and disappointed… but they’re not punishments… it’s part of our path and by following through with love, trust, and enthusiasm, we’ll experience our lives and reach goals far beyond what we could expect to live out.
I love my JRoc more than anything and anyone in this universe.
P.S. Lemme know what you think!
Carmen is a mom, life strategist, religion teacher, best selling author, advice columnist, foodie wannabe, and advocate for victims of narcissistic abuse. She is currently living la vida loca in Vegas with her not-so-little human… prepping him for med school while pseudo-adulting, Tahitian dancing, and exploring the delicious world of bubble tea *woo!*