I’m more than happy to offer help in the Divorce Survival department. I’m especially fond of the the Raising Kids area. I’ve also been known to offer some pretty kick-azz advice when it comes to FREEING yourself from a Toxic Relationship.
However, I FLAT OUT REFUSE to give any “expert” advice regarding Finding/Maintaining a Serious Relationship. As in with a spouse… mate… significant other.
Do you see ME in a healthy relationship… or anything even remotely resembling something like one?
I can help you ESCAPE from controlling, manipulative psychopaths… and spot UNHEALTHY connections… but I have yet to figure out how to build & grow a loving & long lasting relationship.
Maybe I just don’t know how. I mean, here I am dreaming up (note that this is all in my head…) futures with men who are ALL KINDS OF WRONG for me. Just because they’re 6 footers (dunno how, but just about every man I’ve been drawn to’s been an equivalent to 6, foot-long subway sandwiches…), hot, & have kids… and how cool would it be for all of us to go on vacation together?
I’ve even fantasized Halloween costumes for the entire “family”… *sigh*
Or perhaps I intentionally select these off-limits men because I’m just not ready? I mean, Chris Hemsworth is yummalicious… but daydreaming about a single daddy you personally know (no matter how f**ked in they head they clearly are)… it’s almost… REAL LIFE. Right?
Anyway… I digress.
When you ask for help (and not the kind of help where you just need someone to vent to or ask for friendly advice from)… the kind of help where you want someone to walk you through, step-by-step so you can get to where you want to be… that someone better be living comfortably at your destination already.
When choosing a mentor, select someone who is currently LIVING with the results you want for yourself.
You wouldn’t ask a drug addict how you’re supposed to kick the habit (or whatever the correct term is), would you? Or a broke-azz person who’s never been financially wealthy, how to become a millionaire.
Same goes for dating/relationship coaches.
Maybe someday, once I’ve figured this part of life out for myself… I’ll be able to offer friendly help in this area. But until then, I’m the chick to turn to if you’re stuck with an Emotionally Unavailable Man and need the strength to run the other way as quickly as you can.
P.S. Lemme know what you think!
Carmen is a mom, life strategist, religion teacher, best selling author, advice columnist, foodie wannabe, and advocate for victims of narcissistic abuse. She is currently living la vida loca in Vegas with her not-so-little human… prepping him for med school while pseudo-adulting, Tahitian dancing, and exploring the delicious world of bubble tea *woo!*