I have one child… and that child is the sweetest boy in the history of ever.
And while being JRoc’s mommy is an incredible blessing, as well as the greatest of all privileges… I’ve found myself saying things to him that I would’ve never imagined myself saying to anyone! 😆
But to my surprise, several of my #boymom friends have confessed to speaking nearly identical words to their boys including…
- Take your hand out of your pants.
- You don’t need to show me your penis while I’m baking you a cake.
- No sweetie, your penis won’t fall off, so you can stop holding it while you’re watching TV or brushing your teeth.
- Don’t let your penis hang out of your underwear.
- Please put your underwear back on.
- Please put your penis away.
- Please aim your pee INTO the toilet.
- You must put your pants on when we go outside.
- Yes, you said “balls”.
- Do not keep food in your underwear.
- Yes, sweetie, that was a very loud fart.
- Yes, that was a very stinky fart.
- No, the fly on your underwear wasn’t designed to air out your balls.
- Stop aiming your farts in my direction.
- No farting at the dinner table.
- Do not fart into my cup.
- No, I don’t need to know what shape your poop was.
See… you’re not alone.
P.S. Lemme know what you think!
Carmen is a mom, life strategist, religion teacher, best selling author, advice columnist, foodie wannabe, and advocate for victims of narcissistic abuse. She is currently living la vida loca in Vegas with her not-so-little human… prepping him for med school while pseudo-adulting, Tahitian dancing, and exploring the delicious world of bubble tea *woo!*